How does EFT work?
EFT seems very strange at first. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, scratching our heads rather than tapping on it, wondering:
How can tapping on your face can possibly change the way you feel?
Let me explain.
EFT brings together several things at once: focused attention, emotional processing, psychological techniques such as exposure and cognitive reframing, and stimulation of acupuncture points through tapping with your fingers.
It is this combination that makes EFT different from simply talking about a problem or trying to think more positively.
Let’s look at what happens when you actually tap.
First, we focus on the problem
We don’t start by trying to get rid of an uncomfortable feeling.
We start by looking for it.
You might focus on a difficult memory, a fear, a craving, something you believe about yourself, self-sabotaging behaviour, or an emotion you’re struggling with.
For example:
“I’m ashamed because people are judging my body.”
“I feel completely out of control around food.”
“I hate what I see when I look in the mirror.”
“I’m really scared of driving a car.”
“I can’t stop reliving the bullying incident.”
Rather than pushing these thoughts away, as you may be used to doing, you bring the experience into your awareness.
This is one of the ways EFT draws on exposure therapy, which involves deliberately and gently approaching something that creates an emotional reaction rather than continuing to avoid it.
But in an EFT session, you are approaching the experience while tapping.
You’re staying with the experience first, while gradually creating enough space and a feeling of safety to respond differently.
We then put the feeling into words
Another important part of this process is affective labelling: putting an emotional experience into words.
Instead of generic:
“I feel horrible.”
You get more specific, such as:
“I’m ashamed because being overweight means I am lazy and worthless.”
“I’m scared they’ll reject me for the way I look, and I will end up alone.”
“I’m still angry that the kids called me a fat pumpkin in kindergarten and nobody tried to help me.”
“I feel embarrassed about the way my thighs look in shorts.”
“I feel this deep sadness in my chest that the only way my parents showed me love was with food and sweets.”
Research on affective labelling has found that putting specific feelings into words can reduce activity in brain regions involved in emotional responses, including the amygdala, which is a key player in our fight/flight/freeze response.
When we tap on the problem, we get as specific as we can, we name what we experience and stay connected to it.
And then we add the tapping
The key part that makes EFT different from other modalities.
While you’re focusing on the problem, connecting with the emotions, and speaking out loud, you tap on specific acupuncture points using your fingertips.
These are the same points used in acupuncture, but EFT stimulates them with gentle tapping instead of needles.
So why these points?
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the body contains pathways called meridians, through which qi, or life energy, is believed to flow. Acupuncture points are located along these pathways, and stimulating them is traditionally understood to influence the body’s energy system.
This is the traditional framework behind the tapping points.
Modern research is also investigating what happens physiologically when these points are stimulated, including changes in brain activity and stress responses.
In EFT, this physical stimulation happens at the same time as you are mentally and verbally activating the problem.
And that combination is important.
You might reasonably wonder:
“Couldn’t I just talk about my problem without tapping?”
Research strongly suggests that tapping plays an important role in EFT’s effects, with studies also finding changes in brain activity and the body’s stress response.
We don’t yet have one universally accepted explanation for exactly how every part of tapping produces its effects.
But the important point is this: The tapping isn’t just decoration. It is one of the defining components of EFT and an active area of scientific research.
How you feel and respons begins to change
Now you have several things happening simultaneously:
You’re thinking about the problem.
You’re putting the experience into words.
You’re allowing yourself to feel it rather than avoiding it.
And you’re tapping on specific acupoints.
As you continue, you may notice that the emotional intensity begins to change.
Maybe the feeling becomes less overwhelming.
Maybe the memory feels further away.
Maybe you suddenly notice an emotion you hadn’t been aware of.
Maybe a completely different thought pops into your head.
Or perhaps you realise:
“Actually, I’m not angry about what happened. I’m hurt and disappointed that nobody protected me.”
When the emotional intensity changes, our relationship with the problem can change too.
We follow what comes up
The process isn’t usually a straight line.
You might start with:
“I hate my body.”
And discover:
“I’m scared people won’t find me attractive.”
Then:
“I’m afraid I’ll be rejected, I will be single and have no friends, unless I lose weight.”
Then:
“I’ve felt like the fat girl since primary school, because I was always last to be chosen for sports teams.”
Then you remember something someone said to you years ago, or a very hurtful social media comment, or how your grandmother forced you to eat everything on your plate.
We call this: peeling of the emotional onion.
We’re not trying to force ourselves to find a particular memory or uncover some hidden cause.
We are paying attention to what emerges as we work with the issue and follow the thread of the subconscious.
A problem that initially seems simple can have many layers: thoughts, emotions, beliefs, physical sensations, memories and experiences.
EFT allows us to work with those aspects one at a time.
“In EFT, it’s not just about the problem as a whole, but about the many layers that make it up – thoughts, beliefs, emotions, symptoms, and past events.
By addressing each aspect individually, we bring more precision and depth to the healing process, allowing for lasting transformation”
Dr Peta Stapelton
Once there's space, we can respond differently
This is where the cognitive side of EFT comes in.
When we’re highly emotionally activated, it can be difficult to see a situation differently.
But once some of that intensity has shifted, you may suddenly be able to consider a different perspective.
Not:
“I must love my body!”
if you don’t believe it.
But perhaps:
“My body isn’t my enemy.”
“I learned to speak to myself this way.”
“I don’t have to punish myself for eating.”
“Other people’s opinions don’t determine my worth.”
“I can take care of myself without hating myself.”
This is where EFT draws on principles used in cognitive therapies: examining the thoughts, beliefs and interpretations attached to an experience and creating the possibility of a different response.
You’re not simply replacing a negative thought with a positive one.
You’re creating enough space to question the old response and practise something different.
And this is where neuroplasticity comes in
Your brain is not fixed.
It changes throughout your life in response to experience, learning and repetition. This ability is known as neuroplasticity.
Think about a response you’ve had hundreds of times.
Perhaps criticism immediately makes you defensive.
Looking in the mirror triggers shame.
Feeling stressed sends you straight towards food.
Making a mistake immediately makes you attack yourself.
The response can become very familiar.
But familiarity doesn’t mean you’re stuck with it forever.
When you repeatedly experience the same trigger while responding differently, you’re giving your brain a different experience to learn from.
Instead of:
Trigger → automatic reaction
you’re practising:
Trigger → pause → notice → respond differently
With repetition, new patterns can become easier to access.
EFT isn’t just about feeling better during a tapping session. The aim is to change the way you respond to the issue in your life.
So what is actually happening when you tap?
EFT brings these elements together in one process:
You identify the problem.
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You bring it into focus.
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You name and experience the emotions connected to it.
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You tap while staying present with the experience.
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The emotional intensity may begin to shift.
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New thoughts, memories, sensations or perspectives can emerge.
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You work with what comes up rather than automatically returning to the old response.
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You practise responding differently.
And over time, repeated experiences can help you develop new patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving.
That’s one of my favourite parts of EFT:
You’re not trying to convince yourself that you feel differently.
You’re working directly with the experience that is keeping you stuck, while allowing your brain and body to experience it differently.
EFT can help you work with what's underneath the behaviour
This is particularly important when the problem isn’t really about the behaviour itself.
For example, emotional eating might look like a food problem on the surface.
But underneath it might be:
stress → “I need comfort”
shame → “I’ve already ruined it, so what’s the point?”
restriction → “I can’t have this”
rejection → “Food is the only thing that makes me feel better”
body shame → “I don’t deserve to take care of myself until I lose weight”
When you work with the emotional experiences and beliefs underneath the behaviour, you’re no longer just trying to control the behaviour.
You’re changing your relationship with what drives it.